This wasn’t part of the plan

Disney rides

Tom is moving to Belfast.

I am not.

Just after we got back from our amazing holiday, Tom was offered a job in Belfast that he couldn’t turn down.

It wasn’t in my plans to live apart from the guy that I’ve lived with for the last 18 months. Whilst other friends are getting engaged and married, he is moving out of our lovely flat in West London (I’m staying until my exams are over). It feels like we’re taking two steps back, although I hope it will mean a giant leap forward at some point in the future.

I know that this isn’t forever, but it’s going to be tough. Right now Tom’s schedule allows him to come home most weekends, although I’ve already started googling races in Northern Ireland, and I’m trying to get excited about exploring an area of the UK that I’ve never been to.

I’m finding it stressful not knowing where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing in 6 month’s time. I like planning ahead and I feel completely out of control at the moment. However, I need to remember that life doesn’t always go to plan, and I need to roll with it, and enjoy the life I have now.

life is a journey to be experienced

Share:

21 Comments

  1. February 28, 2015 / 9:08 am

    Life certainly likes to throw wrenches in our best laid plans. My husband got one of those job offers you can’t refuse a few months ago, so I quit my job, we sold our flat and moved to the UK, all in the space of a month and a half. It’s been a bit hectic for the past 5 months, at times I thought we were crazy to be giving up my good job and our fully paid off flat that was in the best area of Copenhagen – which we probably couldn’t get again if we moved back.

    It’s hard to give up something, knowing there’s no way back but we’ve found a lovely house to rent and I’ve just been offered 2 even better jobs so I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if that reason isn’t immediately clear. I’m new to reading your blog but you seem like a tough cookie, with a good attitude and that will do you well. 🙂

    • charlotte
      February 28, 2015 / 9:11 am

      Thanks so much for your comment Jen! How are you finding London? I agree that everything happens for a reason and I can’t wait to see what that is 🙂

  2. February 28, 2015 / 10:53 am

    I have been reading and enjoying your blog for a while now. This is the first time I have left a comment. Forgive me my honesty but I think this move of Tom’s is a good thing. Back in sept 2014 you did a few posts about the Berlin Marathon and one of the posts had this sentence —- ” I’ve also tested Tom’s patience in my addiction to running to breaking point. Regardless of the outcome on Sunday, I am giving myself a ‘season’ off the marathon (unless of course I get into London, obviously).”——-
    When I read this is was dismayed. Here is a girl who clearly loves running and fitness but her boyfriend wants her to stop? Why? He should support you in all you do even if it means he might not spend as much time as he likes with you. Now he is moving away. I thought you had to give up marathon training so you can be together and now he is off? How come it is fine for him to follow his dreams? Charlie , you seem like a nice girl with a fun life. Don’t throw it away on someone who doesn’t back you 100%. He is punching way above his weight with you if you want my opinion. I’m a kiwi girl who is just too honest. Take this comment from someone who knows what it’s like to waste your youth on the wrong person. Think things through before you rush off to Ireland.

    • charlotte
      February 28, 2015 / 11:01 am

      Thanks so much for your comment- just sent you an email 🙂

  3. Katie M
    February 28, 2015 / 12:17 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for awhile and think you are such a lovely person as well as an amazing runner. This definitely will be a transition time for both of you and distance definitely isn’t fun. My (now) husband and I were apart for over a year and a half when I moved to the Edinburgh a few years ago to complete a masters and he had to stay in the US for work. It wasn’t easy but thankfully with Skype, what’s app, text… It does eventually get manageable. Best of luck to both of you!

    • charlotte
      February 28, 2015 / 6:44 pm

      Thanks for reading and commenting Katie! Edinburgh to the States is quite a bit further than we will be so I should be grateful!!

  4. February 28, 2015 / 5:52 pm

    Well, I completely know the feeling, although in this case, I am the one who left home to take the next step in my career path. It has its challenges, but we are making it work 🙂 I would be more than happy to go on a bRUNch with you one weekend when I am in London is you want to speak about it.

    • charlotte
      February 28, 2015 / 6:40 pm

      Thanks Laureen, I’d love that!!

  5. Jo
    February 28, 2015 / 7:47 pm

    Oh dear. i don’t want to put you off but when my sister moved back home to Belfast, in the 1st year, there were 11 days when it DIDN’T rain…..
    Well, it’s not good (I can say that because I’ve from there but live in SE England) but at least you can study & got to fun exercise classes in London during the week while he’s in Belfast and it’s actually only an hour on the plane, and it’s quite cheap too, if you book ahead. Belfast has improved greatly over the last years, there’s loads of places to go out to eat.
    What you will miss are the great exercise classes and gyms in London.

    • charlotte
      March 1, 2015 / 6:11 pm

      hahah oh dear. I’m not actually moving so will just have to anticipate some wet weekends over there!

  6. February 28, 2015 / 8:15 pm

    Your head must be spinning!

    Fwiw, my now fiancée and I lived in different cities for over two years (at first 3 hours apart, then 6) and while it was really hard sometimes, it also has its great elements. Whenever you’re together, you’re on ‘holiday’, and exploring. And then you get week nights to yourself for yoga and running and 90 minute baths and drinks with the girls. There are times when your Skype is crackly and you just want to spoon, but there are also a load of good things too… So much so that now that we love together I, erm, have a job where I work away 3 days a week… (!)

    • charlotte
      March 1, 2015 / 6:11 pm

      Thanks for your message Bibi! I am really looking forward to focusing on studying and fitness over the next few months, and some long weekends planned to Ireland as I’ve only been once before!

  7. February 28, 2015 / 9:57 pm

    My husband spends part of his time in Dublin for work, and part of his time over here in London… I know its not quite the same as him actually living abroad, but he is away a lot and we’ve made it work. I must admit it is quite nice to have some time to myself without worrying about having to rush home to see him. Belfast and surrounding Northern Ireland is actually really lovely, especially for cycling. I hope you make it work x

    • charlotte
      March 1, 2015 / 6:09 pm

      Thank you lovely, will have to look into some cycling adventures! The more people I speak to, it seems lots of people do this!

  8. Andrea
    March 1, 2015 / 1:12 am

    Best of luck to you and Tom on this new adventure, and like you said even though you feel as though you are taking 2 steps back now maybe you are just getting ready for something bigger and better down the road. Change is never a fun thing whether it be at work or in your personal life. Keep your head up! You are a busy girl, the weeks will fly by and you will get to enjoy each other even more on the weekends!

    • charlotte
      March 1, 2015 / 6:09 pm

      Thanks Andrea!

  9. March 1, 2015 / 5:59 pm

    Don’t be sad Charlie. I know it’s not part of the plan but make it work for you both. I studied in Belfast for a few years and it is a great city so concentrate on the opportunities this provides for you both. Monday to Friday you can concentrate on work, study etc and when you see each other at weekends make it about good quality time together. Belfast is a great city that you will get to explore plus the out lying areas too (Crawfordsburn beach about 15-20 mins drive outside the city is gorgeous!) im in Dublin, my boyfriend lives in NI and we see each other at the weekends and make it about going out doing fun tourist type things (museums, walking tours) and nice meals before he leaves on a Sunday evening and we both concentrate on the working week before seeing each other again the following weekend.belfast doesn’t have a great ‘fitness scene’ but it has a great half marathon in September 🙂 If you want recommendations of things to do (Titanic Museum and Crumlin Road Jail are absolute musts) or places to eat let me know xxxx

    • charlotte
      March 1, 2015 / 6:08 pm

      That would be amazing, yes please!! I totally agree with you and have already started googling races and fun activities!

  10. March 2, 2015 / 5:34 am

    Slightly off topic but could you blog a little about what you’re studying and why etc? I’m really interested – I’m relatively new to your blog so may have missed when you discussed it before. I’ve just started studying again at the brand-spanking new age of 40 – I’m retraining to teach preschool – so I’d love to know how you fit studying around everything else as my everything else is taking a back seat!

    • charlotte
      March 2, 2015 / 7:42 am

      Hi Cathryn, thanks so much for your comment. I’m studying Biology and chemistry to get my pre-requisites to go back to uni to become a Dietician. You can read more about it here https://therunnerbeans.com/2014/10/becoming-a-dietician.html So great that you’re training to become a teacher! I am finding it hard to fit in the studying- this whole weekend was dedicated to revision, as are most Sundays. I think I am going to have to work more during the week though in the run up to my final exams and essays!

  11. March 2, 2015 / 12:03 pm

    Long distance is hard but it’s doable. I live in the same house with my husband but with our jobs and exercise ‘hobbies’, we don’t see much of each other Monday to Friday – that means weekends are awesome! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *