I had this whole post planned out a few months ago about living with someone who isn’t really into fitness or running, then Tom only went and asked for a place in the London Marathon so that we could run it together. #Love
I’m thrilled that he wants to complete another marathon, is willing to put the training in and I’m so excited for us to be running the race together but it did slightly ruined my roll for the post…
However, I know I’m not the only one that has had to deal with a less than enthused boyfriend/husband/partner when it comes to running, training and racing. I even have a friend that pretended to be watching a race when really she was running it after her now husband complained she was spending too much money on race entries.
Did you read this Women’s Running article on a how one runner made peace with her unsupportive husband? It made me so sad to read it, and relieved knowing that even though Tom isn’t the biggest fan of my running or marathons, he is not like that guy in the slightest. Whilst I too have dreamed of having Tom with a homemade sign on a marathon course, he has watched me run 4 out of the 6 marathons (we weren’t dating when I ran my first marathon but he did come to the pub after to celebrate).
Plus the marathons abroad are partly his fault; after one particularly miserable race on a wet Saturday in Richmond Park, Tom and Leah’s husband Jason were overheard bitching and moaning about having to watch (they didn’t realise we knew Lissy, the girl standing next to them!!). Tom said that he wasn’t coming to watch any more 5Ks or 10Ks, only international marathons…. I’ve since run in Chicago, Berlin, Paris and New York!
We have had more heated conversations about running, marathon training and travelling for races than about anything else in our relationship. Except maybe football.
Here’s how I deal with the fact that my partner isn’t as into running as me…
- I simply run/race on my own. Last weekend I drove down to Farnborough, ran my race and came home in time for lunch. It was minimal disturbance to our weekend, I got to run and Tom got a lie in.
- Getting support from other friends and family. My Mum is super supportive and she often comes to my races, she’s been to 5/6 marathons, plenty of half marathons and 10ks, she’s also a brilliant race photographer! I’ve also had other friends join me for races and runs, supported on the sidelines or via social media. I love the running community that I’m part of online!
- Get up early. I’ve got up at the crack of dawn to squeeze my long run in before work so that it didn’t impinge on weekend plans. Like the time I ran 18 miles before work one Friday so that I could go to Tom’s friends b’day dinner that night and his Dad’s 60th the following day – so worth it to be able to be present at both events and not worry about my long run (although I did have to go home from the dinner at 9.30pm as I was falling asleep in my curry!)
- Bribery. I know it shouldn’t but it works. I bribe Tom with football, pizza, roast dinners, watching sport without complaining on TV etc. Let’s be honest, I bribe myself to go for runs too sometimes. I fully admit that I run to eat and I think Tom has got that mentality too!
- Finding activities that we both enjoy. Tom really likes parkrun and used to go regularly on his own when he was in Cardiff so making the effort to go to parkrun together is on the agenda now. It doesn’t just have to be running, adding in activities such as rock climbing, cycling, obstacle course racing, or skiing that are fitness based but not quite like a 15 mile long run might be more appealing.
- Get a treadmill (and some noise cancelling headphones). The treadmill has allowed me to workout while supper is cooking, while Tom is watching football and when it’s pouring with rain outside. Tom’s also used it for a run while he watches sport!
- I look on the bright side – we’re super competitive and if we both had the same hobby I think it could get quite serious in terms of racing. I do like to remind Tom that I have a marathon PB of nearly an hour faster than his, though!
- I do pretty much all the food shopping and cooking, so I make sure to keep a stock of healthy foods in the house, make nutritious meals and packed lunches for the both of us and try to educate Tom about food choices.
Ultimately, I have to accept that this is MY hobby. I wasn’t into running and fitness in the same way when we first started dating, I’ve changed (for the better, I think). We don’t have to do the same activity all the time, and as long as we can support one another in our hobbies and interests, then it’s all good. I’m never going to be interested in football, Chelsea Football club or flying in the same way that he is, and Tom is never going to understand why I get overexcited about a race expo, have more trainers than high heels or read running blogs instead of the news!
I love these photos that Will took of Tom and I a few weeks ago, he is focusing on his wedding photography business since quitting his corporate job to focus on his passion, yay (although it means that I’m having to look for another blog photographer, boo!) If you’re getting married, are recently engaged or know someone that is, I highly recommend him, he captures amazing images, is professional, friendly and very versatile. Sadly he was already booked for a wedding on the 9th Sept (our wedding date!).