There were a few things that Tom and I discussed properly when we first started planning our wedding, like where it was going to be held, UK or abroad (I lost the battle for a beach wedding in Portugal, although I think he’s beginning to wish we’d gone for a more low key day with all the admin that’s going on at home right now). One thing we didn’t need to discuss was the fact we both wanted to get married in a church, whilst the other one is the fact that I’ll be taking his name from September 9th onwards.
I know a lot of people are very attached to their surnames, they see it as part of their identity, their independence.
I can’t wait to get rid of mine.
Watson. A harmless name, easy to spell, easy to pronounce. Yet it means nothing to me.
My Dad hasn’t been in my life much, actually the last time I saw him was when I was 12, and the only correspondence ew have is a birthday and Christmas card each year. Without going into details (mostly because I don’t have any), I don’t know him. He’s not my family.
For years my Mum and I were a family of two. Then when I was 17, she got remarried and changed her surname. Suddenly I was the only Watson.
When I think of taking Tom’s name, becoming a Farrant, it symbolises more than just a marriage to me. I become part of his family, a family I couldn’t be happier to formally join. I feel so lucky to have friendships with both of his sisters (they’re coming on my hen do in a few weeks time ?) and their husbands, I adore his nieces and nephews, and am thrilled to be gaining the best in-laws ever. I have such a great relationship with my future mother in law that we were planning a little pre-wedding holiday, just the two of us, to get some sunshine and relaxation in before the big day – those plans quickly got hijacked by the rest of the family and now 11 of us are headed to Portugal at the end of August! I can’t wait.
So although I’ll have to get used to spelling my surname over the phone now (Farrant…F A double R A N T) I am so excited to become part of their family unit and to create a unit of our own in the future.
I’m not losing my identity, I’m creating a new one. I won’t lose my independence, I’m just increasing my back up team.
Tom gave me this necklace on our first anniversary, I love it as a reminder of our love of travelling, flying (obviously he’s a plane geek but I actually love airports and planes too) and each other. I wear it a lot unless it disappears into a gym bag pocket for a few months as it’s been known to do…
I’d love to know – what are your feelings on losing your last name/taking your partner’s last name? Would you? Have you?
Also I didn’t realise how many places I had to notify of my name change, I am NOT excited about the admin side of things!
Photos by Anna Jackson